The Flyers have narrowed down their search for goal songs, and all options stink


After two miserable seasons of Jetboy’s “Feel the Shake” being the Flyers’ goal song, the team is thankfully (?) Moving on to something different for the 2021-22 season.

Unfortunately a New goal song doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a better goal song.

Last month, the Flyers announced that they were looking to fans for a new goal song, and they tested some of the best requests submitted by fans throughout the preseason. Among the goal songs tested were “Here Comes the Hotstepper” by Ini Kamoze, “Call on Me” by Eric Prydz and, Broad Street Hockey’s favorite, “Whoomp! (He’s here) ”by Tag Team.

Unfortunately, none of those objectively funny songs will be played after the Flyers score a goal this season. The Flyers announced on Wednesday that they have narrowed their shortlist for goal songs to three, and none of them are very good.

The three finalists are: “Tarzan Boy” from Baltimora, “Beer” from Reel Big Fish and “This Girl” from Kungs and Cookin ‘on 3 Burners.

Raw.

It’s as disappointing as three finalists you can imagine. But are there any redeeming qualities in any of these songs? Let’s go through all of them one by one.

Baltimora’s “Tarzan Boy”

Nope. There is literally not one thing in this song that would make anyone think, “Yeah, I can groove on that when the Flyers score a goal.” “If anything, it would become one of the most boring goal songs in NHL history thanks to that hook” Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh -oh “that makes you vomit.

This song is best left in 1985.

“Beer” by Reel Big Fish

This is by far the best option of the three finalists. Ska has been dead for years, but Reel Big Fish is one of the genre’s pioneers, and the song’s 2:45 mark makes for a pretty fun sing-along tune. Plus, the song is called “Beer” for god’s sake.

It might not be the ideal choice, but it at least has the potential to create some fun times at Wells Fargo Center.

“This Girl” by Kungs and Cookin ‘on 3 Burners

This song is pretty much a meme at this point thanks to all the “Shot on iPhone” videos scattered around the internet. Is it catchy? May be. But will that make fans watch the Flyers? Probably not! There are many better options than this.

At the end of the day, “Whoom! (There It Is) ”won’t be the Flyers’ goal song, and that’s an absolute tragedy. Whether it’s Reel Big Fish, Baltimora, or Kungs, let’s just hope the new goals song doesn’t stick around for too long.

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